As fun as it’s been to dump on poor Mitt Romney since Tuesday’s debacle, the truth is that it wasn’t all his fault. Sure, he was awkward, contradictory, and dishonest. But so was Richard Nixon—and he won both the vice presidency and presidency. Twice. Nonetheless, a third Romney bid would be about as welcome in the GOP as a pot-smoking Mexican lesbian who praises contraception.

So what does Romney do now? Well, all signs point to the ex–Next President of the United States going the boring route—writing a book that some people will buy just to be polite, working as a financial consultant so he can purchase his 12th house from some sucker who couldn’t pay his mortgage, teaching at BYU or something on government, or zzzzzz. Am I still talking?